Feb 14

Valentine’s Day Edition: Fate, Friendship, and Mud

Following a luncheon date with a friend, I’ll call her R, I texted her a thank you; shared how much I’d enjoyed our visit. She concurred, and expressed how crazy it was that we met where we did, when we did, each of us ending up at the same location through circumstance–hers sad, mine out of necessity–especially as we have so much in common. I mean, until our most recent  luncheon, I thought I was the only person in the world who’d named a Maple tree. Nope. Hers is Paul.

Some might call our chance encounter five hundred miles away from our respective homes coincidence. But when we discovered we lived only forty minutes apart, we were both writers and bound for the same writer’s conference in a few weeks, and we’d each just bought our first travel trailers, because we love to camp… that’s fate.

Fate brought my husband and I together, too.

All because the two of us got stuck in mud together…

Miscommunication and hellish weather landed me in the mud next to an RV containing the Man Who Would Eventually Become My Husband, some twenty-odd years ago. And trust me, I was less than thrilled at the turn of events, especially as this man and his friend were the reason my little truck was bogged up to its axles. But when something is meant to be, not even annoyance or emotional baggage can stand in the way too long…

Fated love is the hallmark of what I write. What all Romance authors write. Couples brought together through a set of circumstances that devolve into a series of mishaps, miscommunication and mayhem, which is eventually overcome during a racy, or sweet, but always bumpy, ride to lasting love. Real life revealed in fiction.

Is there someone in your life that you believe wouldn’t be there if this, this, and that hadn’t happened exactly as it did? Someone you feel immensely grateful to call a friend, or partner, who you marvel at their arrival in your life and wonder how different your life would be without them, without the circumstances that led to that first meeting? If so, this is the day to share with them–with anyone you  love–your feelings of gratitude for their presence in your life.

Friendship, marriage… each is a choice. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s to appreciate the people willing to share their lives with me. Writing romance helps remind me of that, how easy it is to misconstrue or misunderstand another person’s intent or unspoken thoughts. Sometimes even what they do say comes out wrong, or is misinterpreted, and leads to unnecessary disagreement. Let this month be the month those misunderstandings are resolved, friendships and partnerships celebrated.

Fate–or work or plain old birth order–might have brought some of us together, but it’s love and gratitude, that keeps us there.


When something does not insist on being noticed, when we aren’t grabbed by the collar or struck on the skull by a presence or event, we take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude. ~Cynthia Ozick

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